Types of female

excerpt from a paper.

When James saw them, the man had his arm around the woman’s waist. He stared across the street, thinking he made a mistake, and then ran after them to take a second look. The man he’d never seen before; the woman was his girlfriend. When he caught up with the two of them, she wasn’t even embarrassed. She just turned to him and said, “I’m sorry. But I never told I’d stopped seeing other men”. Many men share James’s bewilderment, disappointment and heartbreak, I don’t want to sound astute, but there are undeniably a lot of witches and bitches out there. Following are the classic types.

THE BAD GIRL. This woman always does the unexpected. If the light says red, she zooms through. She smokes like a chimney and abuses drugs or alcohol. She is in love with her vices and keeps them under control. She exhibits anti social behavior and always gets you into trouble with the police, your parents and friends. Life with her can be very exciting but beware she is a disaster.

THE VAIN. She has subjected her skin, hair and flesh to almost conceivable method of torture. Her brows went bushy to plucked to just thin line. She lives and breathes for a coat of mascara plus a slick of lipstick know beauty rituals by heart. She totes a huge make-up kit every time and spends hours fixing herself. Worst, she brushes her hair and retouches her makeup every 5 minutes even in the most hostile place.

THE NEW AGE GIRL. She’s an astrologer, a fortuneteller and spiritual master rolled into one. She is always on the cutting edge of whatever philosophy or new age psychology comes along. Every night after listening to her favorites healing music, she waits for a spaceship to take her into the next world. She schedules your date depending on the position of the sun and moon but here’s the catch; she doesn’t eat meat and she doesn’t drink much, so she’s a cheap date.

THE EMOTIONAL BOMB. Normal on the surface but waits till she explodes. She’s like an emotional lethal weapon that goes off without warning. She gets drunk in an important business dinner & pours a martini over your boss head. At any minute, she may attempt suicide, crash her car or burn the house. Her weirdness, meaness and tantrums are a pain in the ass.

THE TOTAL JERK. This woman left her common sense in the sink. She is so breathlessly gorgeous but once you start a conversation with her, you wish you chatted with your five-year-old niece instead. She talks garbage the Webster dictionary is the best place to consult. She’s a real bore because she doesn’t make sense. While you are into Cyberspace, she’s into fan magazine and some variety show tongue (F4, Otso - Otso etc).

THE ACHIEVER. She makes more money than you do, dress to kill, drives the expensive car, never leaves the house with out perfect make up and mobile phone. She is the dream woman of the 90’s bright, witty and attractive. She’s strong at the point of being dominant. She pencils you into her personal organizer between sales meetings. Because she is goal oriented and career driven, you’ll never see her with out making an appointment with her administration assistant.

THE MAN HATER. The man hater loves to find a nice guy and avenges what other men have done to her. She’ll get even no matter what the cost and you’ll end up paying for the misdeeds of every man in her life: from the boy who dumped her in high school to her philandering father, Even if you tried to convince her, by the power of your love. That you’re a good boy she doesn’t listen. You wont be able to make up for the wrongs she suffered which she expects you to do.

THE FICKLE MINDED. She can’t decide if she wants you or some one else. She can’t decide if she wants a relationship or just fool around. She really have little idea of what she wants from a relationship and often breaks up and then comes back only to break up again. She has a fantasy man and a fantasy relationship in mind. She’s always yearning for someone else someone taller, dark, and handsome. Threes nothing wrong with her, she’s simply undecided.

THE CRY BABY. She has just comes out of a devastating break up. She’s hurt and you cant turn your back on her. She burst into tears every time she figures out what happened and what she’s going to do with her life story over and over again. You’ll be in trouble listening to all her woes.

THE PERFECTIONIST. This woman calls all the shots and makes all the moves. She makes threats, demands and rules. She constantly tells you what’s wrong with everything and you always find yourself at fault. Beware she will leave you at the slightest deviation from her rules.

THE NATURAL FLIRT. She’s very attractive and flirts with you, She’s exciting to be around because she constantly showers you with affection and flatters you often. Soon you have fallen to her. Now the problem arises. She doesn’t limit her flirting with you alone. Before you know it, she’s all over your brother and she doesn’t even bother to hide it.

THE SOCIETY GIRL. This lady is suffering from a terrible does of superiority complex and has a distorted image of her. In short, feeling elite and beautiful. She only goes for signature jeans and shirts in addition hangs out with the privileged few. There’s not much problem except that she’s trying too hard. She’s a snob and is hard to please. Her high-pitched voice and her expressions (read: gosh, a-huh, duh, as if, really etc) are just annoying.

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